We Made it Mr. Calhoun: Finishing Half Life within the half life of Cadmium-113m

This article was made possible by cool friend Bunp- she makes zines that are the sort of thing I wish I made and they’re good, so please read them HERE!

When I was 14 years old, I picked up my copy of The Orange Box which my dad had given me for Christmas several years prior. My dad had a track record of gifting me important, quality videogames years before I could appreciate them since literally my 5th birthday. The Orange box had this effect threefold- I played Portal because I could understand it, I played TF2 because of its cartoon sensibilities (despite its gibs confusing little ol' sheltered me), and I played Half Life 2 because it was there. Half Life 2 is a game that demands you shoot these guys to get more plot or progress to an "exciting" physics puzzle- So it is strange to consider that it was my inaugural first person shooter, mainly because it couldn't be.

I played Half Life because I was and forever am a cheap bastard who thinks the devil is going to get me if I spend literally more than 12 dollars on myself. I cannot access my original steam account- me and my brother were forced to share until that became untenable, in which my brother took the kids in the divorce. I don't need to access my original steam account to know Half Life was the first game I ever purchased online, and that it was $8.

Half Life features a narrative that I've never quite seen replicated- a perfect marriage of functional spaces and intense, hand designed shooter encounters. Not a single enemy feels superfluous, and they all have a unique niche in disposing of inattentive players. You barrel down fever dream hallways until the experience unravels, and then it ends. Why would you want to make a sequel to something like this? Let alone one where you spend your time getting into various cars and fighting what feels like one dude, sometimes with a shotgun if you bought the DLC?

There *is* more Half Life however: Gearbox (yes, the folks who created Battleborn) made 3ish official(ish) expansions to the original game. To avoid the mitts of Satan from judging my purchasing habits, I would only buy ONE of these expansions two years later. My choice was easy- one was a dead 2 player campaign for the PlayStation, another was a very straightforward level pack from the canceled Dreamcast port, and the last one was Opposing Force. Opposing Force took me 3 failed attempts to finish. It is a game that felt Half Life could benefit from more stuff- I came out understanding why Half Life 2 opted for *less* stuff instead.

I opted not to spend literally more than 12 dollars lest the Devil caress my beautiful, baked to perfection skin, so I wish-listed Half Life: Blue Shift and moved on. I get really weird about finishing things that are important to me; I am currently procrastinating watching the Cowboy Bebop movie as it will be the last time I see any amount of Cowboy Bebop for the first time.

When I was Today Years old Bunp (a friend of mine who makes really cool zines that are the kind of thing I wish I made and you should read HERE) gifted me a copy of Half Life: Blue Shift a decade after I had wish-listed it. She had descended into hell to grab the keys to the kingdom of heaven and to liberate me from suffering eternal.

I finally finished Half Life.

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So What did I think of it?

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Half Life: Blue Shift follows a cop parallel to the events of the original Half-Life- you see hell break loose, you poke around, rescue a scientist who knows something about teleporters, and then go do some chores in an alien world. If you have played the original Half Life, that should sound familiar. Blue Shift does not offer any new mechanics or weapons (unlike its cousin, the military focused Opposing Shift) and plays (mostly) as a "best hits" of the original game. The run time is short- I'm literally a household object and I finished it in 3.5 hours- so ideas tend to be pointed and hit hard. I mostly enjoyed it! Smooth paragraph transitions are for luddites- lets discuss:

Where's it coming from?

Gearbox, as the principles of taxonomy dictate, is not Valve but rather a whole other developer. Valve had all of these lofty design visions for their NPC's which had to be cut because you don't get money until *after* the game is sold (it was also 1997). The (friendly) Non Playable Characters fall into two types:

1. One of Three Scientists dudes who are limited use medkits, open doors, or occasionally offer charmingly voiced exposition

2. One of One Cops who shoots people or is (as my friend in High School who's cousin I briefly dated described as) "free punchable ammo"

Where's it going?

Gearbox wanted to add more stuff to Half Life (more guns both familiar and alien), and NPCS's were on of their to-do list. In Opposing Force, you often find yourself with a platoon of differing soldiers: one guy is a medic, one guy mainly shoots, and one guy opens doors (with his blow torch). Hey, wait a second! (okay there is also a portly donut loving cop, so atleast the boys in blue are a bit more diverse (I'm going to hurl typing that sentence))

Blue Shift adds one Dr. Professor Rosenberg, an NPC whom the story centers on. He must be rescued and escorted through several maps, all so he can open an unmarked wall you ran past previously which serves as the entrance to his secret lab. I bring up the good Dr. Professor Rosenberg because there were several times his script which opened this all important door broke- it's the price you pay when you reach for the future.

So much of Blue Shift feels like an exploration of what was to come in first person shooters- NPCs complex enough to act in escort missions, maps returning to explicit mission objectives beyond "push forward," and the game ends with an honest-to-god horde defense fight as its finale. I would not dare to describe this game modern, but you can see they were attempting to sketch the future.

Where has it gone?

It’s vision of the future is impressive given how much of Blue Shift is built on the ethos of the original Half Life. Everything leading up to finding the good Mr. Doctor Professor Rosenberg is quite good- Half Life had a knack for finding inspirations for firefights in functional spaces, but Gearbox really tried to push design towards functional mundanity (this is a compliment, I swear). The best encounter in the game is technically an optional one: you enter a stair tower in which 3 marines are stationed at the top of the stairs. Running up the treads will send them marching down with the upper hand and engaging them requires using the stair pans themselves for cover as they race down. It is a joy to think about.

It is entirely optional as well- you don't know this, but the door at the top is locked. You'll eventually loop back around from the other side (with the honorable Mr. Doctor Professor Rosenberg in tow) putting you above those pesky marines. Everything after this loop-around is functionally fine, modern, and toothless. It's clear Gearbox (like many at the time) thought "Half Life's ending on Xen totally sucks," which I think is only fair regarding the giant mama headcrab and that one very flat level with the jump pads. Gearbox’s take on Xen was "push forward until you find a switch to flip, flipping it spawns some guys to fight" which is fine and toothless. Bold of Gearbox to predict Black Mesa’s approach to Xen!

The game ends soon after. You find yourself free of your alien chores being last loser out of the portal, which is good because marines with guns storm the cramped lab you've been using as a waiting room. There is little bravado leading up to the moment and there is just as little after- the game literally has the esteemed honorable Mr. Doctor Professor Rosenberg pat you on the back, go "all's well that ends well!" and roll credits.

It was over. The voice of Big the Cat was telling me I won. I had finished all of Half Life.

Thanks Bunp. I guess I should finally play Quake, huh?

Go read Bunps stuff HERE! She makes Zines that are the sort of thing I wish I made!

I have a lot of projects getting off the ground- I’m going to be making some Zines, and you can expect to see a 12ish page comic out of me within the next two months starring gaming’s most iconic brothers.